Today I learned that uncertainty is a part of normal life. Here I sit at 6:00 on a Sunday evening. The first time I’ve been able to drive onto my two acres of wooded property in Iowa. I’m sitting here in a campfire chair, overlooking the valley, hoping to get a glimpse of wildlife. As I allow myself to absorb the quiet tranquility feeling that all familiar shift from thinking to feeling, I hold the last reminances of a question that has been visiting my mind more and more often…
What is my life for, it’s purpose? If God saved me from dying in that motorcycle accident because he has work for me, what is the work??
I am going to try an experiment here… I am going to allow myself some time sitting here to transform from thinking to feeling. The following words will come from that part of my being, unedited. I am going into this with the questions above, seeking direction. Let’s see what happens.
My life is not a task list to be accomplished. I am not here for a single purpose, I am here for all things. I am no more a teacher than I am a student. I am a profit as much as a pulper. My life’s purpose is to live life. To learn how to fully live and to share that with others. My fortune to amask is in llthe leaves that quietly sway with the wind before me. My treasure is in being part of this moment. I somehow feeling this connection to the tress around me. These are the things that bring calmness to my heart and excitement my soul.
Similar to the many accomplishments I place so much importance in, I could walk down further into the woods, but I don’t need to. I am perfectly placed exactly where I am in this moment. God will guide me. He will guide my direction and my life. Similar to the driveway from the road to the pad on this property, it will have its shares of hills. It will bend right to left and back again. It will have bumps, along with smooth spots. But I can rest assured that it will bring an awesomeness that I could not have imagined. This I already know. I have tasted the fruit of following His will.
As the woods begin to darken, there is one small tree, surrounded by a thick forest of larger trees, towering way above it. This tiny sapling is reflecting enough sunlight to light up the area around it. Of the entire area, it is the only one lit up by the sun. A thought, “Maybe I’m that tree. Maybe each of us is that tree”. Within moments the light of that tree is gone. Could it be that it was intentionally held by the light for that brief length of time only for me to understand my own human significance? Overwhelming thought, but believable!
All around me is life. All around me is death. Neither is more of less beautiful than the other. My eyes view green and yellow and white. I see strong tall healthy trees as well as young. I also see a beautiful tall tree, stripped of its leaves, it’s bark falling from it. It’s branches look so brittle. Yet it stands tall in its death. Somehow it seems proud. Proud of its contribution to life, or proud for the life it led. Even after its death, it draws respect and gratitude.
As I conclude this writing so that I can spend time strictly absorbing, I am not sure if I will build a house on this property or if it’s something I will hold onto just to protect my availability of being here. What I do know is that this ground is spiritual. How often does a guy get to enjoy a two acre, wooded church surrounded by valley…:)