Today I was confronted with my fighting my life.
It was brought to my attention this evening how much I am fighting life. I thought I was done with this, but I’m not. It goes all the way back to 12 years old, when I misunderstood what he meant when my dad told me I needed to toughen up. He was trying to address me being over sensitive. I heard that I needed to fight more and fight better.
This fighting carried into so many areas of my life. I realize that I continue to fight as part of receiving healing or growth. As part of accepting change. My whole life, there always had to be a physical enemy in order for me to let out my fear or the demons within me.
Looking right now, I’ve continually appointed someone who is doing me wrong, in order to make changes in my life. Rarely have I instituted a change in my life for ME. It’s usually been against someone..
I haven’t been aware of this role playing or even the need for change to include a battle.
Appointing the position of attacker has put the whole process into a position I’ve been able to comprehend so that I can go do my part for the change to infiltrate my life. Actually the whole process has been based on an untruth that change requires a battle.
SO HERES THE QUESTION…
What if I didn’t need the attacker or the enemy.
Or better yet, what if I have been my persecutor all along? which is really the case for any of us in this type of situation, isn’t it?
What if I were to allow or accept change in my life just for the sake of bringing more happiness and love for myself as well as those around me?
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