Words of encouragement about trust…
Today, I find myself looking at TRUST, what I really means and how I apply it. Or not! I’ve always considered myself a pretty trustworthy guy…
About a month ago, I had a shirt missing from my closet. It’s the go to shirt my girlfriend Julie wears whenever she’s over (“because I’m cheap and don’t like the turn the furnace up”, she says). When I realized the shirt was missing I called her and was adamant that she took it home and Iwould be needing it back. I knew without a doubt that she took it! ‘Maybe not on purpose’, was how I framed it, so I wasn’t coming right out and calling her the thief, my screwed up thinking thought she could be. Well, I ended up finding the shirt in a duffle bag, in my basement. When I did I called her & apologized.
Lesson one, right? NOPE… needed more examples!
The other day, my son, Joey came home from school in his usual manner, which meant he chills in front of the TV for a bit. I noticed he had a set of ear buds for his phone. I remember mine were hanging from my mirror in my bedroom and went to get them to make sure I packed them for my upcoming hunting trip. Guess what… Yep, you guessed it, THEY WERE GONE! I told (notice I don’t say asked) Joey they were mine, which he replied “they were not”. I was so adamant and so angry I was swearing and saying things that I’m embarrassed to repeat, about him taking my things. Five minutes or so into this, a quick thought ran through my head about the shirt incident. I sat for a minute and breathed deep. Mostly to reduce the adrenaline that comes with a good ol’ fashion anger surge, but also to let the shirt event permeate deep enough for me to be willing to believe something different. I ended telling Joey I didn’t believe he took my ear buds and asked if he would help me find them, which he did. They ended up being in my luggage. I probably packed them earlier in the day.
I continue to have events unfolding to help me see how untrustworthy I’ve actually been throughout my life. Such as new sales people coming into the picture at work and me protecting my territory against their invasion. Or realizing I have a change jar that I have locked up to the point that it’s a pain in the butt to utilize. So my change ends up on a dresser, scattered all over the place. I probably lose more change now than anyone would ever take!
So my lesson in all this, after apologizing & coming clean with Joey and Julie was that there is something inside of me that believes people are out to take from me. As this unfolds, I see more and more areas of my life where I’ve acted out of this belief, causing ill feelings to myself & others and I expect I’m blocking myself from fully receiving because I’ve spent so much time guarding & protecting. I realize I’ve been trustworthy as long as I have all my things inventoried and accounted for. BUT, I can become trustworthy as things happen in my life to help me practice being so. Once again, I can’t expect to grow in this life unless I’m willing to look honestly at where I am!
If you can relate, I’d love to hear your words of wisdom!